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Apr
23
2014

1900s

me: We're going to find out how people lived in the 1900s!
7yo: how long ago was that?
me: so long ago not even Great Nanny was born then.
7yo: the Stone Age?
me: ...[trying not to laugh]...not that long ago.
7yo: Romans?
me: not that long ago either.
7yo: [thinking]...Tudors?
me: that's probably closer.

Apr
18
2014

Creepers are the same as TNT

5yo: creepers are the same as TNT just with legs and green and walking.

Jan
11
2014

Tight sleeves

[9yo is playing one of the board games on Assassin's Creed: Black Flag and is winning]

me: Careful, he may have something up his sleeve.
9yo: They're pretty tight sleeves.
me: That's coz they're modelled on.
9yo: I know that!

Dec
30
2013

All in the power of touch

[7yo comes running inside, I tell her it's bathtime]

7yo: But we found a grasshopper or a locust outside!
me: How do you know it's a grasshopper or locust?
7yo: Because it looks like one!
me: Why don't you look up pictures on the internet and see if you can tell the difference.

[We go to 7yo's room, she grabs a small paintbrush]

me: ...what are you doing?
7yo [holding up paintbrush]: Scientists have discovered it's all in the power of touch! And they used a paintbrush!

[7yo scurries back outside leaving me puzzled]

Dec
19
2013

Faster than a Lamborghini!

15yo: Nothing is faster than a Lamborghini!
8yo: Except maybe a faster Lamborghini!

Dec
16
2013

Humans

[8yo is playing  Civilisation Revolution on the PS3, I glimpse a city I think is called Berlin but not sure whether it's his or computer's]
me [not thinking]: what race are you playing?
8yo [looking at me like I'm an idiot]: ...humans.
{I kick pre-caffeinated brain into some form of gear]
me: what CIVILISATION are you playing?
8yo: Oh.  Germans.

Dec
11
2013

Malking

[7yo pats cat sitting on my lap]

7yo: I'm making Moulty moult on you!
me: Moulty? :)
7yo: Malki! But she is malking on you.  [realises what she said] Moulting!

Nov
08
2013

What do you want for Christmas

7yo: Mummy what do you want for Christmas?
Me: world peace and everyone to stop shoving their beliefs down everyone else's throats.
7yo: w...orl...d...pea...ce...world peace I think.

[I look over and realise she's writing a list]

Sep
27
2013

Random keys

8yo (watching me touch type): how do you tap random keys and come up with words?

Aug
02
2013

Victory is sweet

I'd told the 4yo to go and rest up prior to a planned outing as he'd power chucked from the dining table to the back door at lunch time and we wanted to make sure he was okay for the trip (which didn't eventuate as he was still coughing in a manner that had us paranoid that he might do it again).

I heard screaming matches between him and the 8yo and walked in, found the 4yo lying on the bed looking sleepy and upset and the 8yo playing his DS.  Told off the 8yo for antagonising the 4yo (he protested, but he has been antagoising his siblings for the past couple of days).  After giving the 8yo a serve I again told the 4yo to lie there and rest up and as I was walking out he smiled and said "Ahhh nothing is sweeter than victory."