So much dumb things on internet

[5yo is sitting on my lap watching Youtube, he watches a clip I have a very low opinion of]

me: That was really, really dumb.
5yo: There’s so much dumb things on internet!

As he said it in a rather sing-song voice I’m wondering if he is parroting that from somewhere and if so, where :)

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1900s

me: We’re going to find out how people lived in the 1900s!
7yo: how long ago was that?
me: so long ago not even Great Nanny was born then.
7yo: the Stone Age?
me: …[trying not to laugh]…not that long ago.
7yo: Romans?
me: not that long ago either.
7yo: [thinking]…Tudors?
me: that’s probably closer.

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Creepers are the same as TNT

5yo: creepers are the same as TNT just with legs and green and walking.

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Tight sleeves

[9yo is playing one of the board games on Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag and is winning]

me: Careful, he may have something up his sleeve.
9yo: They’re pretty tight sleeves.
me: That’s coz they’re modelled on.
9yo: I know that!

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All in the power of touch

[7yo comes running inside, I tell her it’s bathtime]

7yo: But we found a grasshopper or a locust outside!
me: How do you know it’s a grasshopper or locust?
7yo: Because it looks like one!
me: Why don’t you look up pictures on the internet and see if you can tell the difference.

[We go to 7yo’s room, she grabs a small paintbrush]

me: …what are you doing?
7yo [holding up paintbrush]: Scientists have discovered it’s all in the power of touch! And they used a paintbrush!

Faster than a Lamborghini!

15yo: Nothing is faster than a Lamborghini!
8yo: Except maybe a faster Lamborghini!

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Humans

[8yo is playing Civilisation Revolution on the PS3, I glimpse a city I think is called Berlin but not sure whether it’s his or computer’s]
me [not thinking]: what race are you playing?
8yo [looking at me like I’m an idiot]: …humans.
{I kick pre-caffeinated brain into some form of gear]
me: what CIVILISATION are you playing?
8yo: Oh. Germans.

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Malking

[7yo pats cat sitting on my lap]

7yo: I’m making Moulty moult on you!
me: Moulty? :)
7yo: Malki! But she is malking on you. [realises what she said] Moulting!

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What do you want for Christmas

6yo: Mummy what do you want for Christmas?
Me: world peace and everyone to stop shoving their beliefs down everyone else’s throats.
6yo: w…orl…d…pea…ce…world peace I think.

[I look over and realise she’s writing a list]

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Random keys

8yo (watching me touch type): how do you tap random keys and come up with words?

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