I want to see your horrendous mistake!

I had spent a decent amount of time regaling 10yo with hilarious episodes of my 3d experimentations revolving around the shenanigans that can happen when one doesn’t parent controllers properly or grabs bones instead of controllers by accident and stuff like that. Then to prove that parents don’t know everything I showed him that I was researching some way to use a complete dynatopo sculpt rather than finishing off the multires one I was working on. While talking to him I started fixing up some errors I hadn’t noticed in the dynatopo sculpt at the time and zoomed out a bit too far, causing a brush stroke to remove too much detail over the bit I brushed over. I cried out “OH CRAP” and promptly hit the undo combo. 10yo came scurrying into the room crying “WAIT I WANT TO SEE YOUR HORRENDOUS MISTAKE!”

Why you need both hands

Sprat: I want your hand for my sandwich. 8yo: No. Sprat: Why not? 8yo: I need my right hand for writing and drawing and I need my left hand to help my right hand carry stuff! Sprat: Yes that’s a good reason.

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Stuff the kids have said recently

7yo (about one of 9yo’s friends): He always chases me when I don’t want to be chased and doesn’t chased me when I do want to be chased! Boys are just like that!
me: It doesn’t get any better as you get older.

9yo (watching the Speed Racer movie): It’s really bad.
me: Why are you watching it then?
9yo: I’m just watching it so I can go “WHAT?!” at it.

Acrobat

7yo: I’m an acrobat Mummy! I was born to acro!

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Blinded by science

[following a discussion about vampires and zombies and what times they’re active]

5yo: Mum pretend you’re a zombie!
me: I’m too smart to be a zombie.
5yo: Stop blinding me with science!

[not much later]

7yo: I can tell the future! I predict Daddy will be home soon!
me: Will he be wet?
7yo: Maybe a little bit…unless there’s an unexpected thunderstorm.
me: If you can tell the future then it shouldn’t be unexpected!
7yo: I can’t predict thunderstorms!
me: But you can tell the future!
7yo: …now you’re blinding me with science!
me: It’s not science it’s just logic.

Arachnidding

9yo: Why is there a giant spiderweb there? It’s really bugging me. Or arachnidding. Or something.

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Doo-wop

I told 7yo and 5yo they would have to wait a couple of hours for a box of frozen raspberries to defrost.

5yo: How much is a couple?
me: Two. Dua. re.
7yo and 5yo: Doo-wop! Doo-wop! Doo-wop!
me: [laughing too hard to correct them]

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Stolen crackers

JJ: Ahh you’ve got some crackers there! 5yo: Freshly stolen from the English!

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If it's relevant then it's ok!

[9yo was carrying on like a pork chop about doing his maths workbook.]

9yo: Do I haaaaaaave toooooo [bleat whine moan etc]
me: It’s on the way to stuff you’ll have to know to be an engineer.

[9yo’s eyes light up]

9yo: Oh in that case it’s okay!

[9yo hits the books]

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Three eyes

5yo: Mum when can I play the old Minecraft that we used to play?
me: …? …tomorrow after bookwork.
5yo: Mum when can I have computer?
me: When you can show me that you’re responsible enough to have one.
5yo: When can I have a third eye?
me: …I guess when medicine and technology advance enough.

This was all part of the same conversation.

This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License