Bees have ants

11yo: the drones are the male bees. They sit around and eat honey, then they mate and die.
7yo: don’t they store honey?
11yo: the drones are the ones with wings.
7yo: some bees don’t have wings? O_o
11yo: OH! I was thinking about ants XD
7yo: bees have ants? o_O

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Octopus musings

7yo: do you know how an octopus would open a nut?
JJ: how?
7yo: the same way it opens a clam. AND YOUR SKULL.

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Kafulu

Me: oh it’s a cthulu
6yo: a what lu?
Me: cthulu. Can you say cthulu?
6yo: kafulu!

There was a very cute broad grin that accompanied the attempt. Near enough is good enough for now, even I have trouble saying it XD

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Measurements

According to 6yo 2d shapes have “whip” and “lengf” and 3d shapes have “whip, lengf and dep”.

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Why have you forsaken me?

JJ and 6yo are making pancakes, 6yo searches the fridge for toppings.

6yo: Dad! I can’t find any jam! JAAAAAAAAAAAM! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?! Oh wait here’s some, never mind.

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Stage whispers and biggenising

Earlier today:

JJ: (whispers to 6yo to put a banana into the pancake mix they’re making in the kitchen)
me (yelling from computer room): I can hear you from here.
6yo (stage whispering): Dad stop stage whispering!

Just then:

6yo: Dad can you give me a boost up for the stuff I’m biggenising?
JJ: …you want me to help you make that bigger?
6yo: yes please.

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Hailing from Satan

6yo: Daddy you’re from Satan!
JJ (laughing): How’d you work that one out?
6yo: Coz you’re a DEMON!

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Surveillance is creepy even in kids books

Me (reading Dr Seuss’ Sleep Book to 6yo): On a mountain halfway between Reno and Rome, we have a machine in a plexiglass dome which listens and looks into everyone’s home…
10yo (interrupting): That’s…really creepy.

Yep.

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Talking like a Protoss

Me (to 6yo who fell asleep in the car): You’re a knackered tacker aren’t you.
10yo: As am I.
Me: Go jump in the shower then so you can rest up after.
10yo: I do not think the occasional cleansing is necessary at this point.

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Coconuts and carrots

[At Aunty’s house]

8yo: I was a Freo supporter when I was in Mum’s belly! I was a Freo supporter before humans came to Earth!
me: Before humans came to Earth? Did they come in a spaceship?
8yo: Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum [exasperated sigh] they were born from coconuts!

[in car about to leave Aunty’s house]

me [readjusting car controls]: Jeez [JJ] you drive like you have a carrot up your arse.
8yo: Yeah Daddy don’t drive a carrot up your arse.