11yo: the drones are the male bees. They sit around and eat honey, then they mate and die. 7yo: don’t they store honey? 11yo: the drones are the ones with wings. 7yo: some bees don’t have wings? O_o 11yo: OH! I was thinking about ants XD 7yo: bees have ants? o_O This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

7yo: do you know how an octopus would open a nut? JJ: how? 7yo: the same way it opens a clam. AND YOUR SKULL. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

Me: oh it’s a cthulu 6yo: a what lu? Me: cthulu. Can you say cthulu? 6yo: kafulu! There was a very cute broad grin that accompanied the attempt. Near enough is good enough for now, even I have trouble saying it XD This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

According to 6yo 2d shapes have “whip” and “lengf” and 3d shapes have “whip, lengf and dep”. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

JJ and 6yo are making pancakes, 6yo searches the fridge for toppings. 6yo: Dad! I can’t find any jam! JAAAAAAAAAAAM! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?! Oh wait here’s some, never mind. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

Earlier today: JJ: (whispers to 6yo to put a banana into the pancake mix they’re making in the kitchen) me (yelling from computer room): I can hear you from here. 6yo (stage whispering): Dad stop stage whispering! Just then: 6yo: Dad can you give me a boost up for the stuff I’m biggenising? JJ: …you want me to help you make that bigger? 6yo: yes please. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

6yo: Daddy you’re from Satan! JJ (laughing): How’d you work that one out? 6yo: Coz you’re a DEMON! This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

Me (reading Dr Seuss’ Sleep Book to 6yo): On a mountain halfway between Reno and Rome, we have a machine in a plexiglass dome which listens and looks into everyone’s home… 10yo (interrupting): That’s…really creepy. Yep. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

Me (to 6yo who fell asleep in the car): You’re a knackered tacker aren’t you. 10yo: As am I. Me: Go jump in the shower then so you can rest up after. 10yo: I do not think the occasional cleansing is necessary at this point. This work by ryivhnn is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

[At Aunty’s house] 8yo: I was a Freo supporter when I was in Mum’s belly! I was a Freo supporter before humans came to Earth! me: Before humans came to Earth? Did they come in a spaceship? 8yo: Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum [exasperated sigh] they were born from coconuts! [in car about to leave Aunty’s house] me [readjusting car controls]: Jeez [JJ] you drive like you have a carrot up your arse. 8yo: Yeah Daddy don’t drive a carrot up your arse.