[9yo was carrying on like a pork chop about doing his maths workbook.]

9yo: Do I haaaaaaave toooooo [bleat whine moan etc]
me: It's on the way to stuff you'll have to know to be an engineer.

[9yo's eyes light up]

9yo: Oh in that case it's okay!

[9yo hits the books]

This is my 7yo and her dog Angus (aka "Angillian and "Ningle Nangle Jangaloid" and permutations thereof, don't ask, I don't know).

5yo: Mum when can I play the old Minecraft that we used to play?
me: ...? ...tomorrow after bookwork.
5yo: Mum when can I have  computer?
me: When you can show me that you're responsible enough to have one.
5yo: When can I have a third eye?
me: ...I guess when medicine and technology advance enough.

This was all part of the same conversation.

[5yo is sitting on my lap watching Youtube, he watches a clip I have a very low opinion of]

me: That was really, really dumb.
5yo: There's so much dumb things on internet!

As he said it in a rather sing-song voice I'm wondering if he is parroting that from somewhere and if so, where :)
 

9yo hopped into my bed in the early hours after The Linux Geek left for work.  After chilling for a bit he asked me: "Is this real or is this a dream?"

"I think so," I replied after a moment's hesitation.  "There's a creation myth, can't remember whose, maybe one of the Native American tribes, about how the entire universe is the dream of some god and when that god wakes up we'll all stop existing."

Then he asked, "What if every atom was a universe, and all the atoms in that were universes as well?"

I answered that I had had similar thoughts previously and there had once a theory involving fractals and everything being repeated at different scales...or something to that effect.  We then imagined containing bazillions of tiny little universes and our entire universe being an atom inside something phenomenally huge to us which might be an ant in that outer universe.

5yo: creepers are the same as TNT just with legs and green and walking.

The youngest is officially "school age" because someone in their infinite wisdom decided that Preprimary should be compulsory.

We have graduated from babies and toddlers to all "school aged" kids.

I asked him if he would like to go to school this year seeing as he was old enough.  No, he says, "I want to home school."  He pronounced it carefully as two separate words.  He pronounces everything carefully, maybe because he knows he stammers if he tries to talk too fast or feels flustered.  He has a decent vocabulary for 5, I think, probably because he copies a lot of what comes out of the mouths of his siblings (mostly good, some reminds me that I need to watch how I talk to myself).

• block the other person's weapon (even if it is a fan) with your weapon (which may also be a fan), not with your hand.  Especially if the other person's fan has metal ribs
• when lion dance training after taking such an injury, don't lift the head when you have to hold the mouth shut
• when walking through door frames, make sure you fit through the doorframe.  Do not get distracted by small dogs attempting to run outside, and definitely do not clock the alleged "funny" bone on the doorframe to the point where you lose all feeling in your hand for a little while (preceded and followed by HOLEY SHEET THAT HURTS), especially if it's the arm with the hand that doesn't have aforementioned wrist injury on it

Not that this has ever happened to me, definitely not in the last week, because who would be so dumb.

Or rather hang around the periphery of and watch.

I saw this on the front page of deviantART (hey the front page is good for something after all ;) when I went to log in:

Lightning La Buff Bust by mattj324

In my usual fashion after dropping in to leave a boring "wow" type comment, I went through the rest of the person's gallery and then watched them.

[9yo is playing one of the board games on Assassin's Creed: Black Flag and is winning]

me: Careful, he may have something up his sleeve.
9yo: They're pretty tight sleeves.
me: That's coz they're modelled on.
9yo: I know that!