re: patent trolling

• life

Dearest Apple

I hear you’ve won your most recent case against Samsung regarding rounded corners on rectangles. Please forgive me for not jumping up and down in excitement over this little victory, as I happen to think the whole thing was pretty fucking stupid (pardonnez mon français) and a massive waste of time, effort and resources that you could have spent doing stuff like making your existing products better and maybe even inventing something new (or at least a new take on something old).

Throughout the years I’ve used:

• some pre-9 MacOS when I was in primary school, I cannot count the ways I hated you
• a 13" G4 Powerbook running OSX 10.2, my first love, lasted six years before a fall from a table (second or third time in its life) finally killed it
• a first gen iPod mini (started fritzing in late 2004, think it finally died in 2005)
• a 2004ish 24" iMac, bit more workhorseish for my 3d habit, still kicking and being actively used now though not for 3d, the graphics card is on the blink
• an iPhone 3GS (wanted a new iPod and needed a new phone so this was quite convenient)
• a 2006ish 13.3" MacBook, wanted to take it on my regular trips home and be able to continue working, still being actively used, only started slowing down recently, oh and by the way I was slightly peeved that it got bigger, I quite liked the 12" size, fortunately it still fit into my 12" bag
• a mid-2011 maxed out 27" iMac (got it in February)
• an iPhone4S (recently “upgraded” my phone plan, had the choice between iPhone and Samsung Galaxy II, please be clear that the ONLY reason you won is because I’m not as impressed by Android as I want to be)

I think I’m in plenty of shape to say I’m not one of those people who think it’s cool to hate on you because you’re a profit-driven evil megacorp.

Your recent spat of patent trolling indicates to me that you are stagnating and thus engaging in Microsoft desperation tactics that are so agonisingly pathetic I lack the vocabulary to adequately express what I think. If you were in the business of paying attention to what people think about you (I’m not convinced you are, seeing as you used to be in the business of coming up with stuff that people suddenly realised they needed, not so sure about now), I would suggest that you draw and quarter fire the people responsible for/pushing the patent trolling idiocy (bonus if it’s in such a manner that they never get to work anywhere near patents or industry in general ever again) and hire some brains with some new and interesting ideas and see what happens. Maybe take a leaf out of Google’s book if you haven’t already done so and give your employees a day to muck around and see if they come up with anything fun. Oh and keep making your products just keep going and going and going. Being able to use the same thing for getting towards a decade before having to upgrade was a huge deal for me. If you also need to cater for those weird people that absolutely have to have the latest and greatest bleeding edge thing because it’s the latest and greatest bleeding edge thing not because there’s anything wrong with the previous thing that was latest and greatest and bleeding edge at the time they bought it, I’m not going to hold it against you.

You owe NewTek big time for the fact that I am still unapologetically choosing Apple computers every time I need a new rig. With the way you’ve been behaving recently with the patent trolling, the factories and disturbing rumours about the pittance employees in Apple stores are earning, it’s highly probable that I’ll be gone the second NewTek releases a Linux version of Lightwave.

Fuzzy regards

fyn

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