[imported from livejournal and backdated]
Tiny's been real great so far. I think he's well aware of his
little...sibling. This is going to be interesting, I keep thinking
"little brother" and when I'm talking to Josh about them I keep
referring to them as "the boys" rather than "the kids" which is what i
should be doing til we either know via ultrasound or when I'm about four
months which I'm guessing I will know for sure, coz that's about when I
"knew" that Tiny was a little boy named Tao. He's quite patient and
understanding with me as much as a yearling can be, when the misnomered
morning sickness lasts all bloody day.
How the hell did I not work out that "nom" meant "name" when I know what words like "misnomer" mean?
Today
though Little Guy was quite weepy and cranky and cried a lot. I didn't
know what to do except for the usual do whatever I think I should be
doing, and that was not getting annoyed with him even though I was
feeling annoyed, it's not like he was doing it on purpose to piss me off
or anything. I figure he's probably teething. Anyway he's down for
another nap so hopefully he'll sleep for a while.
I bought the
biggest bunch of buk choy I have ever seen in my life. Think I will
cook it tonight. Been trying to take the pressure off Josh a bit by
taking over some of the cooking (I hate cooking, but you gotta do what
you gotta do). Yesterday I kept demanding and eating toast with butter.
Josh bought nice bread and hot cross buns. Weird kind of craving, but
I'm sure fibre is used for something. I also ate a really small fish
for dinner (they weren't kidding about the BABY barra) and a plate and a
half of wedges. And earlier for lunch scoffed an entire bowl of pasta
which I think normally would have done me and Josh probably with a bit
left over. I really need to do something about my diet, it's a bit of a
mission even for a being of boundless energy to grow two babies at
once. My eternal respects to people who breastfeed multiples. Trying
to get that sorted before I resort to supplements. Although I didn't
have bad reactions to the Blackmores Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Formula
so I know I can fall on that if the diet alone doesn't cut it.
I
swear I can feel butterfly movements from Smidge. That is technically
impossible coz I'm about 6.5 weeks and Smidgeon would only just be
starting to think about budding limbs. I don't think he's even visible
to the naked eye at this point in tiem. This is crazy. And the fact
that I only got left alone after accepting the possibility of a name
that Josh thought was odd, would probably suggest something but I don't
have a fricken clue what. Maybe if I tell him again at four months
he'll believe me, or at least be able to feel it then too. I donno.
It's entirely possible I'm just going the rest of the way mad, according
to everyone I know it's not a long trip.
I really should ring up
the community midwives and see whether my application got lost in the
aether or not. My head is just never in the right space for phone
conversations though. I hate phones. Also not in the right headspace
to finish the baby board. There's not a whole lot more to go on it
really, and I don't even know why I'm dreading it, there's all of one
difficult task that I don't want to deal with, the rest of it, one is
annoying and shouldn't need to be done, just has to be coz Microsoft are
a bunch of stupid fucks who can't do something simple like release a
browser that's standards compliant and secure, the rest is just cosmetic
details that I need to find the appropriate pieces of code to pull out
and twist. I'll get back into it eventually.
Josh should be home within a couple of hours. Yay!
Seems
like everything is working out all right. Be nice if my family came up
for Christmas, they want us to go down there but there's no way in hell
I'm travelling that far that soon after giving birth. Would love to be
on Christmas Island for Christmas, not going to happen. I might get
lucky. Dad said he will probably be up in June for a course, and Mum
might come up in November for Smidge's birth and to do some Christmas
shopping, so I'll get to see them and at least one of them will get to
see the newborn Smidge. I really want this homebirth so I don't have to
be away from the Little Guy. Sigh. Hope I get it. That'd be nice.